Grief & Loss— in loving memory of my brother Danny
This post is heavier than what I usually send. It’s honest, raw, and very human. If you’re not in a place to hold something tender today, feel free to come back to it when you have the capacity.
I’m not going to sugar coat it, life has felt brutal lately. I have some updates for you, and also some truths I’ve been learning in unexpected & challenging ways.
I’ve always been the “strong one.”
The calm & collected, the rock, the one who finds a way to hold it all together... eldest daughter energy at its finest 💁🏼♀️
These last 2 months... didn't just stretch me, they unraveled me.
My dad’s house burned down in early October. I spent weeks helping him sort what was left, while keeping my own busy life and business on track.
I went into a medicine journey that cracked open old somatic memories and long-held control patterns— things I didn’t even know were shaping my entire life.
To top it all off, in early November, my little brother was diagnosed with stage 4 stomach cancer. He died three weeks later, on Thanksgiving night.
He was just thirty years old.
Everything about it felt too fast, too surreal, too unfair.
That time between diagnosis and death… was a nightmarish rollercoaster. It was devastating, faith-shaking, traumatic, hopeful, rapid-fire disappointments, and impossible to maintain a fucking grip.
At times it felt like the most brutal medicine journey I've ever been on, and it still continues to unfold.
So that’s where I’ve been.
Deep inside the heaviness of real life and grief that doesn't have a tidy arc.
Throughout all of this, I’ve been impressed by the amount of support around me and by how my family and I have let emotion move through us instead of turning into armor.
I am deeply grateful for the tools I’ve spent years building.
The nervous system regulation, emotional intelligence, and somatic awareness that keep me from collapsing into old patterns. Staying present, being intentional, and accepting the range present within and outside of me... This is Tantra in its messiest, most real form.
And in all of this, I’ve realized something: being "the strong one" is only sustainable when you let the your emotions wash over you, cleanse you, fill you with rage, break your heart, and allow the tears to shape shift and have their way with you.
There is strength in allowing yourself to become completely undone.
Tantra isn’t something I turn to only when life is peaceful or curated. It’s what helps me breathe when life is absolutely not okay, it lets grief move instead of calcify, and it's the thread that helps me stay awake to my own humanity.
Tantra is about being awake in ALL of it.
The non-dualistic heart of Tantra teaches us that it all belongs, it’s all divinity, even when it feels like an absolute cluster fuck. This season is reminding me why I love this work and why it's so necessary.
Tantra is what holds me when life gets real, it’s the breath that finds me when everything feels like too much, and it’s what reminds me that even in the unraveling, I am still here... still alive, still feeling, still human.
This level of aliveness, even when it's brutal AF, is what we’re all ACTUALLY here for 💥
This work, my work, is for the ones ready to live wide open. Even if that means doing it overwhelmed, in the midst of deep grief, and imperfect. Experiencing fully the painful pleasure of living this one beautiful, fucked up, precious life.
And I believe that’s the real strength. Not holding it all together and being the strong one, but letting it all move through.
As for what’s ahead: I’ve updated the events page with some shifts and we are pausing the podcast production as I navigate the aftermath of my brother’s passing. More will be added as I get my footing again.
Please note the date changes on our events page HERE! Thank you for your patiences as we update the tickets and dates.
See you in 2026 🌟
